Jioing techniques

Today very happy day ah cos one of our ginna birthday his name called Xiao Hen. Because he very heng in Find Stead Department today I jio 2 zabor and after they agree be my stead I ask him go and be Xiao Hen stead for 1 day. Today Xiao Hen very song jitao got 2 girl with him.

If you all wondering why I this tao eh so pro anyhow can jio 2 girl already I can teach you how.

tao eh is ah beng so confirm must get ah lian gf. if I get nerd gf how am I going to face all my ginna? if my gf dont know how to scold vulgar and smoke, all my ginna will quit the gang because their tao eh wife duno how to scold vulgar. That is why I love Ai Pia all along.

The most important thing is, Ai Pia love to eat mango.

in front of an ahlian, you must always give her to so near yet so far feeling. you must look in her eye liao then when she look at you, you must look away. this is to show her that you dont hiu her but you wan her to hiu you, and this is the most imba method to jio an ahlian.

2nd if you wan her to auto jio you, you must die die have a pack of cigg with you and start smoking in front of her. at the same time when you smoke, you must say all the private part in hokkien.

the ahlian will be very amazed that you know all the magic word and she will think you very cool and will want to stead you. after u smoke and scold all the private part, you must talk to your friend very loudly because ahlian believe that the louder you talk, the more man you are.

so far this method let me jio until got 8 ahlian steads liao. so this method is quite imba to me liao. and so far i haven hear anyone method more zai than mine.

i have used this method on 24 ah lians.

dun ask me what happen to the other 16 ahlians. because you all will laugh even if i am your tao eh. last time ask you all dont laugh at me for the 14 times i fall down staircase, my ginna still laugh at me knn zzzz. end up all of them tio daiji.

this is also the method i use to jio Ai Pia i hope she still remember what brand of cig i am smoking that day. and she really love me lots. i also love her lots, because i always say we Yong Bu Fen Li.
Ai Pia is the best stead among all my 8 ex le.

once again happy birthday to Xiao Hen but remember by midnight after your birthday pass liao must break with the 2 ahlian hor. I need to return stock back to Stead Department, all the ginna who haven find 5 ex still need them.

Nerd

Sibei dulan ah your tao eh today tio daiji and suay suay today Saturday my Ai Pia with me that time knn one got nerd keep beo my Ai Pia zzzz. Knn that nerd wear black specs carrying so many books with him still dare to beo my Ai Pia zzzzz.

I know big daiji going to happen to him I faster ask Ai Pia zao. But my dear Ai Pia just don't want to zao. I begin to feel very scared I ask her is it that nerd her gan stead again? She say not her gan stead,

is her maple stead. zzzzzzzzz

but she say maple stead nvm can whack so she just zao. I more dulan that nerd is her maple stead zzz I tell him kua simi lanjiao he tell me he see me no lanjiao zzz. Wa knn nerd also know how to say private part liao i thought he will run when I say the word lanjiao. I know that magic word is not going to work on him so I need to use my fist liao.

Then knn before I going to punch him he start to take off his spectacle and start to bend him specs. Knn I thought he how old nia trying to show me he like Abra can bend spectacle. Limpei just stand there wait for him to play his spec finish.

Then knn his spec suddenly become a very long stick and start to change colour and at last it become the Sun Wukong Golden Pole. Knn he whack me with the Golden Pole until Limpei sibei pain zzzzz.

I tell him better watch out I will tio him daiji he start to flip his books and knn his books suddenly all transform into Maple prepaid cards and he start to toss them at me like a Ninja.


Knn la now limpei whole body cuts and bruises zzzz
To all my ginna: dont tio nerds daiji zzz

Ok I going post up the duty roster liao all this name is get from the facebook group 14 SIAO aka.TIONGXIM/GUAILANKIAS FAN CLUB
so people u all better dun pon your duty hor if not i sure tio you dai ji zzzz.

ok since monday is the start of school each week i believe alot of ginna will have monday blue one so i think that day not alot of ginna will go to school so monday is consider a break day for us. we will have meeting to eat kitkat together because we want to have a break.

tuesday onwards will have more ginna going to school so is your time to tio daiji with them liao.
i will exclude sunday in the duty roster as sunday is a holiday.
saturday is also off day because your tao eh just patch with Ai Pia and i going to pat tor with her.

so your duty is from tuesday to friday and we will be combing the whole of singapore for duty.




as long as got girl i will put a guy with them for partner because the number of molest case is rising.



and i dont want our girls to molest people. so guys who are partnering girl, please keep a lookout on them.

This is currently the duty roster for those who are available to patrol. remember to choose your targets wisely and just call any ginna from our gang they will be on standby and ready to fight anytime as they do not study and stay home whole day look for daiji. so dun worry no one will go there and help u.


it is important to know that if any of u cannot make it for duty must report to me 2 days in advance so i can ask another ginna to replace. if pon without mc or parents letter i will tio your daiji.

Conclusion

Ok I decided to jio Ai Pia back and don't care about the ahlian Janice because I think Ai Pia more chio and I organise a vulgar competition among the two of them.

Ai Pia win her in the vulgar competition cos she know 3 more vulgar words than Janice so I think if my stead is Ai Pia I will have more wind as a tao eh. As you know all my ginna de steads their vulgar all lose to my Ai Pia and Ai Pia is currently the top stead in the stead section.

Recently the anti ahlian blog got encourage people to join our Stead Department but all of them lose to Ai Pia because their vulgar damn noob la zzzzz. I jitao fail them and ask them go home drink their father milk zzz.

Ai Pia I am apology I break with you and try to stead other girl. I now in front of all my ginna ask you for another chance to be your stead and hope we patch back and dont ever break again. Please forgive me.

Yong bu fen li.

New case who want settle?

This girl reject me lar I very sad zzzz I because of her break up with my Ai Pia and she today jitao reject me lor zzzz. You know anot I with my Ai Pia been through so much she even break up with her gan stead because of me and I break with my Ai Pia because of her she jitao reject me zzzzz.

I finally discover the person who look at my kkj when I in toilet liao actually is her brother and her brother go and tell her I got 2.5inch kkj so she dont want me zzzz.

Now guys can help your tao eh choose if want jio Ai Pia back or this girl??? I really love both of them but I don't know which one to choose sia zzzzz. Currently Ai Pia I put on hold once this girl accept me I will hang up on Ai Pia..

Annual Budget 2010

Today Tao Eh going to make a speech here about our annual budget 2010. Because our gang is keep on expanding and now we have more member our gang reserves currently running abit low. So this year we need to plan our annual budget swee swee so that disaster will not occur when we tio daiji.

I remember last year annual budget 2009 we didn't plan very properly and end up when we going to tio daiji with other gang, our 10 ginnas only got money to buy 7 Tiger Bottle. End up the 3 of them who never get bottle died.

nnbccb without the Tiger Bottle dont so stupid go and fight la zzzz. the tiger bottle very important in a fight de.

So our annual budget very low we need member to faster donate more Tiger Bottle to us to make sure the disaster never occur again. No Heineiken accepted because it dont have the Tiger Power.

And those who haven't jio tio 5 stead if by next week you havent get 5 stead I must send u retrenchment letter liao cos you all wasting our money go and buy hair dye and hair spray. if you all use our reserves still never get zabor then you all not fit to be in this gang understand?

For this year we cannot buy alot of tiger bottles so we need to downgrade to buy water bottle instead. So we will be supplyig 35 tiger bottle and 36 water bottle.
If still not enough during your daiji send me email and BCC: ZhongEh and CC: your leader to ask for more supply. don't ask me face to face because all this need black and white.

after your email receive I will take 2 paikia days to reply to you whether can supply you more weapons anot.

How to choose your victim

Ok your tao eh here to conduct night session on how to choose your victim, which means how do you know if this person is the person you going to tio daiji with.

Basically all the victims have a few things in common and it is quite easy to choose them.
I will share with you the basic two features.


Number 1:
Wear glasses.

Wearing glasses confirm give you an advantage if he is your victim. Everyone knows that cobra is called Glasses Snake in Chinese, it applies to humans too. If you see a human wearing glasses you are very lucky to have a Glasses Human victim.

Everyone knows that if a cobra attack you, the only way to settle it is to take off the cobra's glasses. It applies to humans too. So when you tio daiji with your Glasses Human victim, remember the first step is always to take off his glasses.

Nowadays I know upgrade liao people wear contact lenses instead of wear glasses but this rule still applies. Just ask your victim what brand of contact lense he wearing then when he answering you halfway, use your middle finger to poke his eye and his contact lense will drop off.

This counter move is the most imba out of all because it is in S.565(b) in the Ahbeng Sutra - The Finger of Beng, the middle finger is specially chosen to be the attacking finger because we always train our middle finger to be the longest and most outstanding finger everytime.

Number 2:
A manly voice

If your victim has a manly voice it is even better because you can easily make him cry and being the tao eh, I will teach you to do so.

Step 1 - bring an apple along with you
Step 2 - bring a marker along with you
Step 3 - write the word 'adam' on the apple
Step 4 - eat the apple in front of your victim with the manly voice.

Once you complete Step 4, you must look deep into your victim eyes and say the magic words 'Adam Adam gone Forever'.

Your victim will become from manly voice to an ahgua voice because you have just eaten his adam's apple. Snow White is eat poison apple, now MTCLBHC is eat Adam's Apple.

After your victim has realised that he has lost his manly voice, he will cry and beg you to return his adam apple. Often, the ginnas under me will normally whack him and he will remain ahgua voice forever.




But your tao eh is different.
I told him 'Happy Father's Day' and I started to peel banana and eat in front of him.




These are the steps in choosing your victim. Please choose them wisely.